A Love Letter To…

Baby things I’m sad to give up

We are closing in on my daughter turning one, and in the spirit of the season of excess for all things, I am mourning the loss of some of my favorite baby gadgets. As a new, first-time parent, the world of baby things is overwhelming—dizzying, to an extent. In a modern world that touts ultimate conveniences, stuff for babies knows no bounds, and it can be near impossible sometimes to filter out the gimmicks. And even with gimmicks aside, you just never know what your kid will like or respond to, because every babe is different.

Please have a moment of silence with me for these beautiful, glorious materialistic things that at times, I loved just as much as my own child.

(NOTE: This is not a sponsored post, ad, or even an unsolicited idea list for the holidays. These are legitimately things I loved so much, that I feel like all my besties from the last year are leaving me forever. “Empty Nest: The Inanimate Objects Edition”)

4 Moms Rocker. My dearest rocker. You may have been my favorite baby goody to ever grace my life. With your ever-relaxing, soothing movement at any one of four speeds, you gave me endless good baby naps and an ethereal humming lullaby as your motor worked 18 out of 24 hours in a day. I lamented over and over that I would add more motors, pvc braces, and straps until the end of time if I had to, but over my dead body would I ever get rid of you. Alas, when my kid tapped out on that 20-something pound weight limit, my husband pried you from my cold, dead hands and said, “Tab, it is time.”

But don’t worry, girl. You’re still in the back of my kid’s closet and one day, I’ll figure out how to modify you for myself. Hashtag Mom Naps.

Baby Brezza Formula Machine. You are the single most clever invention ever, my little baby formula Keurig machine. I never had to worry about milk temperature in the middle of the night, or if I’d gotten the powder to water ratio right when I was half asleep. But after so much constant use this year, your heating element has gone out for good. Has that stopped me from using you in conjunction with the microwave these last 2 months? Not a bit, darling, but the end is nigh for us, I fear. I have to wean the kid off the bottle and though I could probably come up with a million other uses for you, I’m not sure I have the brain energy or space to figure it out. I’ll always talk about you fondly and scream from the rooftops about how I firmly believe every parent needs you in their life.   

Baby Brezza Sanitizer. Much like your sister, you had my back at the grossest, snottiest of times. While I thought I’d keep you on hand for wine glasses and jewelry spot shining, I think this leak we’ve been seeing out of you is permanent, so it’s time to bid you adieu. Rest in sanitized pieces, my love. There was never a hot plate more dedicated.

Sling Bathtub. Oh, honey, how would I ever have done baths without you? I think I cried a little when I realized my girl was too big for you and it was time for her to transition to the regular bathtub. With your adjustable sling, headrest, and padding,  every bath was like a spa day for my girl – and one less migraine from bath screams for Mom and Dad.

Fisher-Price SnugaMonkey Chair. Oh, sweet Mr. Monkey! We took a chance on you even before you were “recommended” for my babe’s use! You gave Stella her own little seat to hang out with us, not to mention you came with additional crinkle toys that we will keep forever while thinking fondly of you. Your twin that we have at my mom’s house will also be missed beyond belief. God knows I wish my child still fit in your seat because she gives me mini-heart attacks whenever she sits on the couch without you now. (And when I say “sits”, I mean when she summersaults/head scoots/back rolls)