Hi, I’m Tab.

I’m a writer, fiction author, new mother, geriatric millennial, Capricorn, bourbon enthusiast, and Oxford comma tyrant.

Aka, an all-around kerfuffle of a human.

Sometimes (a lot of times), I eat cheese for breakfast. I am of the strong conviction that shorts are the worst fashion item ever created, and I frequently revisit the traumatic bee scene from “My Girl” that lives against my will and rent-free in my head. I will watch a 24-hour murder marathon on the ID channel without blinking, but want to drive my car off a bridge if an animal dies in a movie. My least and most favorite thing about life are those seconds in between the before and after moments when we are fundamentally changed forever, credited to inevitable truths like death, loss, birth, failures, and spaces of individual eurekas that give us the chance and room to evolve. I devour art and stars, and I truly believe there is nothing more delicious and heartbreaking than the human condition and just how wildly different that looks for every one of us.

This Substack will offer essays and ramblings both long and short form, sometimes vapid, sometimes flowery in prose. There will be fictional tales, real-life moments that make your butt pucker, overstated humor, bad puns, and gut-wrenching truths that come to me in the shower when all I wanted to do was relax for 10 minutes and shut my brain off.

I hope you giggle, I hope you sniffle, but most importantly, I hope when you finish reading, you say, “Hah! Me, too.”

No, no, most importantly, OF COURSE, I hope you subscribe, free or paid. I’m just glad you came.

Why should I consider a paid subscription?

Substack is a 100% reader-funded platform, so your paid subscription helps make my own little corner of Substack the best it can be. It supports me in continuing to be able to crank out all kinds of content, and gives you limitless access to:

·       Ability to comment on posts and become an integral part of a community of discussions, solidarity, and behind-the-scenes experience into the bones of some of your favorite stories—both true and fiction.

·        Throwback Thursday Stories: my verrrryyy personal anecdotes from the past that quite frankly I probably shouldn’t have survived.

·        Cringingly Honest Mom Fails

·        TMI Parental Stuff: Pregnancy, Birth Story, Postpartum, etc.

·        Serial Released Books including 3 chapters a week, with AskMeAnything about the story, characters, writing process.

·        Short stories and subscriber contests in which winners “choose your own adventure” and are directly involved with the conception of new tales.

· It also supports my all-consuming passion for cheese plates.

On the fence about signing up for a paid subscription? Take your time and enjoy the free subscription content, and when the paid memberships roll out soon, you’ll be able to decide if its the right fit for you!

Come say hi!

In addition to subscribing to my Substack, you can contact me at notwhereiparkedmycarsubstack@gmail.com, or reach out on my Instagram page @tabbytime.